Hey Reader,

We’ve all probably been through this situation:

You’ve woken up, and all you want is another hour in bed. You know you love your work, but you just need a little more time to mentally prepare, put off a rough day, or just delay the rest of the world for a while. That feeling is normal. Sometimes all we need are those extra five minutes.

But sometimes we can have a string of those days in a row. At first we tell ourselves it’s just a rough day. Then it might turn into a rough week, maybe a month, then a year…

What happens, without us noticing, is that we tell ourselves, “I just have to get through this rough patch” until it becomes part of our daily routine. And eventually, we can’t even pinpoint exactly when it began.

We keep going because it’s what we know how to do. It’s how we’ve always gotten things done. But everything that used to come naturally now takes real effort to push through. Underneath the busyness, there’s a question starting to form in the back of our mind:

When did this become so hard?

I went through a stretch like that myself. For a long time, I always pushed myself to do my best. I'd consistently beaten my targets, built a reputation, became the person to help others. And then, without any clear turning point, everything started crashing down. I struggled to meet expectations I used to easily beat. I wasn’t sleeping well. I was nervous about goals that, a year earlier, I would have hit without a second thought. And for a long time, I’d wake up in the morning, check my calendar for my first call, and stay in bed scrolling social media as long as I could. I couldn’t tell you why. I just knew I didn’t want to start the day. And it continued for years.

I was talking about this once with Kathy Wu Brady, whom I'd encourage you to follow if you don't already. We landed on a term for how to describe this to other executives going through it: the wobble. That stretch where the formula that's always worked stops working, and you can't immediately tell why.

When we’re so used to achieving high results, anything less feels catastrophic. We see it as a sign that we’ve lost our edge, or gotten lazy, or stopped caring enough. So we push ourselves to work harder, improve our workflow and put in more hours. Our way of working has to work, because if it doesn’t, who are we?

But that's rarely what the wobble is actually signaling. That “catastrophic” realization is actually a sign that there’s a disconnect between our reality and our version of success. Pushing harder won’t resolve it. It just makes the misalignment more exhausting to carry. You can optimize a process all you want, but if the deeper issue is that the work no longer matches who you've become, no spreadsheet fixes that.

What I eventually understood about my own wobble was that I wasn’t lazy, or lacking discipline. I was avoiding a huge misalignment issue. For years, the path I was on had matched what I valued and wanted, so I never had reason to question it. The results came, and I enjoyed the work, so I never stopped to question whether or not it was still aligned with who I am. Then, when things stopped working, I had to ask myself the big question: Is this what I actually want, or am I just proving to everyone I can still do it?

Most leaders don’t stop to ask that question until the “proven” version of success stops working.

Facing that wobble doesn’t mean you’re behind, or that something’s broken. It means you’ve outgrown the version of success that used to fit you. And that’s okay. What you wanted in your twenties probably isn’t what you want now, and the same goes for what success looks like at this stage of your career. You’ve already proven over and over that you’re capable. Now the work is about figuring out what you actually want, rather than just going with the flow of what you’re good at.

I spent a long time figuring out what mattered to me, both inside and outside of work. It’s not quick, comfortable, or easy, but it’s what I needed to get to where I am now. If you’ve been going through a similar situation, I’ve built a short quiz that helps identify the specific pattern behind your version of the wobble. You can take it here.

If things feel like they're not flowing the way they used to, maybe that's not a problem that needs fixing. Maybe it’s a sign to ask yourself the same question I did: Is the version of success I’m chasing still mine?

If this newsletter brought up anything for you, or you're already starting to land on an answer, hit reply. I read every response.

From one human to another,

P.s The human side of leadership is something I've built my keynote around. If that's a conversation you'd like to bring to your organization, you can find out more by clicking the banner below.