Second Summit Brief is a weekly letter for high-achieving leaders who’ve realized the summit they climbed isn’t the one they want to stay on. Each edition blends reflection and strategy to help you see the patterns keeping you stuck and find the clarity, courage, and integration that define your own second summit.
The question that keeps high achievers stuck
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There's a question most high achievers avoid at all costs: Who are you without the title? Not what you do. Not what you've built. Not what's on your LinkedIn. You. The person underneath the credentials. If that question makes you uncomfortable, you're not alone. For most of us, identity and achievement have been fused together for so long that we can't see where one ends and the other begins. We became the role. The performer. The one who delivers. And it worked. That identity got us everywhere we are today. But here's the problem: when your sense of self is welded to what you do, any threat to the doing becomes a threat to your existence. Thinking about leaving? Feels like losing yourself. Got passed over? Feels like erasure. Retired or laid off? Feels like disappearing. The stakes get impossibly high because it's not just a job or a title. It's you. This is why so many successful people stay stuck in roles that no longer fit. The discomfort of staying feels better than the terror of not knowing who they'd be if they left. The work of separating who you are from what you do doesn't happen in a weekend workshop or a stack of self-help books. It's slower and messier than that. Often it takes real support - a coach, a therapist, honest friends who'll hold a mirror up. It takes time and practice and the willingness to sit in discomfort. When you start to untangle identity from achievement, the grip loosens. Decisions get clearer. You can consider leaving without it feeling like annihilation. Or you can choose to stay without it feeling like a trap. You get to choose from freedom instead of fear. The goal isn't to reject everything you've built. It's to hold it more loosely. The Stoics called it holding silver as clay: not gripping tightly to what you have, even if it's valuable. You are not your title, even if you keep the title. That's the difference between being successful and being trapped by success. How's your relationship with title and identity? Hit reply. Share your thoughts. I read every message. This week, try this: Finish this sentence without mentioning your work: I am someone who ___. Notice how easy or hard that is. |
Second Summit Brief by Clif Mathews
Second Summit Brief is a weekly letter for high-achieving leaders who’ve realized the summit they climbed isn’t the one they want to stay on. Each edition blends reflection and strategy to help you see the patterns keeping you stuck and find the clarity, courage, and integration that define your own second summit.
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